It has been more than 3 days since i communicated with Y, I purposely stopped communicating with him the moment I realize that when my friend Kiddie Asked me “Do you Still love him” and I took me a while to answer and the answer was “ Its so hard and I cannot answer that question tight now”.
3 Days I am unable to sleep well, 3 Restless Days, 3 days of asking the same questions to myself. I haven’t started crying yet but I have suddenly found myself going back to a Habit he was one of the reason’s I quit “Smoking”
For 3 days two of my closest best friends Paul Almighty and Kiddie have been meeting me after work knowing that I was in the middle of a storm in my relationship. They have tried all means to cheer me up and I am grateful for that. Even forsaken the vow to loose weight just so they can force me to eat something, comfort foods.. Yes those fatty and sinfully delicious foods, I got to hand it to them they have always been my guardian angels.
Just last night we were able to bond with Max, it has been a long time since we were at his place. Max is a talented photographer and agreed to do a photo shoot for us, for the longest time I was able to smile and laugh until the 3 am in the morning. Upon our way home I had a conversation with Paul, He asked me about my plans and how I am feeling right now. I told him that almost a month ago we decided to buy a Sun sim, along with it we bought a card that has unlimited txt for 30 days and 4 hours worth of Sun-Sun calls. So we can always communicate with each other (Cause for me, Communication is Vital and important) the funny thing is he barely text and if we do one sms per day. That prompted me to realize a lot of stuff, one with be the reason we barely text before was with load, he always fogets to reload and is always busy with his project. So the sun was a way to deal with that issue but still I am seeing no improvements for my part.
“I am drowning here Paul! And it seems he cannot see that. Why? The reason I am fighting for my life here is in the hopes that he will come to rescue me.” Deep breathe..
“I am loosing all hope, will I let go?” hailed a taxi and waved my friend goodbye.
Should I let go or hold on? That question has been in my mind for the entire day to day.
Call me old fashion, but I am waiting for a sign on what I should do with my life. Yes, a Sign.