Sunday, June 15, 2008

Men are Just Desserts

I was reading through this book entitled “Men are just Desserts” by Sonya Friedman, what the book was trying to point out aside from its eye Catching title is more or less this; In your Career and Love life, you should be the main course and after that Men are just the dessert. A reward for all your hard work and efforts, it does make sense if you think about it.

The common mistakes that we tend to make them our Sun in your solar system that is a big mistake why? What id the sun explodes? Then what? What will become of the said solar system? You will be sucked into a great black hole. What the author simply trying to tell us, and I am telling this to all Women, Man, Gay, lesbian’s or Bi’s. That Marriage should not be the finish line in your life, you can take it further and accomplish more put of you life whether it be for career, spiritual or personal goal’s. Also how having a deep personal relationship with yourself can also help you enrich your relationship with your husband or partner.

It does make perfect sense, I am sure you have heard of this from your girlfriends “How can you love someone, if you cannot even love yourself?” it practically works the same way.

The question’s that you should be answering right now is that and be honest.
· In your current relationship right now, is there a part of you that has/was buried in order to make this

relationship a success?
· Does your opinion matter in the decision makings? Or is he/she the only one making it?
· Did you sacrifice a certain career opportunities or Career goal for the sake of this relationship? (Quit a

Job, refused added responsibility in work due because you prioritize his goals, etc.)

Take time and Ponder on this? It is not too late to change. The book did not say you go and divorce your husband; find another partner there is no problem that cannot be solved with proper communication and compromising in terms of responsibility. Talk about it, BE heard and also for your part LISTEN.

So I am taking this liberty to spread the word and even possibly break the norms that we are accustomed to.
That Marriage or simply being in a relationship is not the end goal or should not be the center of you universe. YOU should be the Center of your universe and the relationship or marriage is the Reward or the JUST Dessert’s.

Friday, June 13, 2008


It has been more than 3 days since i communicated with Y, I purposely stopped communicating with him the moment I realize that when my friend Kiddie Asked me “Do you Still love him” and I took me a while to answer and the answer was “ Its so hard and I cannot answer that question tight now”.

3 Days I am unable to sleep well, 3 Restless Days, 3 days of asking the same questions to myself. I haven’t started crying yet but I have suddenly found myself going back to a Habit he was one of the reason’s I quit “Smoking”

For 3 days two of my closest best friends Paul Almighty and Kiddie have been meeting me after work knowing that I was in the middle of a storm in my relationship. They have tried all means to cheer me up and I am grateful for that. Even forsaken the vow to loose weight just so they can force me to eat something, comfort foods.. Yes those fatty and sinfully delicious foods, I got to hand it to them they have always been my guardian angels.

Just last night we were able to bond with Max, it has been a long time since we were at his place. Max is a talented photographer and agreed to do a photo shoot for us, for the longest time I was able to smile and laugh until the 3 am in the morning. Upon our way home I had a conversation with Paul, He asked me about my plans and how I am feeling right now. I told him that almost a month ago we decided to buy a Sun sim, along with it we bought a card that has unlimited txt for 30 days and 4 hours worth of Sun-Sun calls. So we can always communicate with each other (Cause for me, Communication is Vital and important) the funny thing is he barely text and if we do one sms per day. That prompted me to realize a lot of stuff, one with be the reason we barely text before was with load, he always fogets to reload and is always busy with his project. So the sun was a way to deal with that issue but still I am seeing no improvements for my part.

“I am drowning here Paul! And it seems he cannot see that. Why? The reason I am fighting for my life here is in the hopes that he will come to rescue me.” Deep breathe..
“I am loosing all hope, will I let go?” hailed a taxi and waved my friend goodbye.

Should I let go or hold on? That question has been in my mind for the entire day to day.
Call me old fashion, but I am waiting for a sign on what I should do with my life. Yes, a Sign.


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