Day 1 - Random Thoughts

I suddenly found myself staring at the rain and then realize that it is indeed over.

It took almost 24 hours for that news to really sink in to my system i guess it was just waiting for the Vodka to vanish so i can take over.

As i was staring at my phone, i realize that i was about to send a message to you like what i always do to keep you updated on what i have been doing and telling you to Eat, Rest and this also includes the I love yous.  

Today was Hell for me. I am constantly fighting the urge to cry and to send you an iMessage to tell you to choose me instead of him. That i deserve your love and not him. These Thoughts and ideas just keep on popping in my head.. that i actually play my MUSIC on a MAX Volume so i won't hear myself think anymore and just focus on my work and the task that needs to be accomplished.

I am waiting for that time that i will be tired... Tired of feeling sorry for myself, Tired of having to feel like crap everyday and waiting for you to change your mind.

 I must accept reality.. It’s never gonna happen. 

Open Letter - Wish Comfort Love

Have you ever wished that you have the "God-Like" ability to go anywhere you want in a speed of thought?
Me… not a day goes by that I don’t wish for that gift.

Through that gift, I am able to comfort you, be with you and hold your hand even if we are doing anything.
Just staring at the ceiling or outside counting stars while we paint together our hopes and dreams.

Every time we talk on the Phone, I get this tingling pain in my chest. The thought that I might be able to see you but i cannot touch you, Kiss you or hold your hand. This distance between us is like a prison without walls and the clock is ticking. It’s only a matter of time before we reach our breaking point and that scares the hell out of me.

But i have to be strong...i have to be strong not just for me but for “US”.
I have always told you that love transcends distance and if our love is strong and real it can overcome anything. I believe in that.. I hope you do as well.

Hold on.. I know we can make it through.

Always remember… I love you.